Not to overshadow the fact Ben actually posted something here (Fuck, he posted something!) but I’ve come to a decision in my life that I think probably deserves at least something resembling a blog entry. I’m going to quit university for this year. Am I dropping out altogether? Probably not, I’ll re-enrol for next year. So why on earth am I doing it? Well, even most of those that know me REAL well don’t know I’m currently in the process of starting a company. It’s nothing to do with gaming and not really of any interest to the Gaming/Half-Life community, so I won’t be going in to details here (and also of course the company isn’t launched, can’t be giving away industry secrets now!). Suffice it to say that those things have taken a priority over my degree course which is/was going to take many more years and currently isn’t very rewarding.

What does this mean for Wavelength? Well I’m going to now be focusing more of my energy on this company, but as part of this company is a fairly complex and involved PHP backend system. Once that code is finished a fair amount of it can probably be used to power Wavelength, and the experience gained from creating the system will help me hopefully finish off the rest with ease.

To summarise: I quit university for this year. Starting company. Possibly good for Wavelength.

I am moving in with Justine on Saturday.

I’ve been working at a young networking hardware/software company for the past 5 months. I enjoy what I do but it takes most of my time and I am on call 24/7.

I apologize for not posting in many months but I’ve been busy and I’ve only had the chance to post because I am sick and decided to stay home today.

Everything else is going well, I am going on vacation to the Domican Republic in 2 weeks for my brother’s wedding.

I just bought the Motorcycle Diaries but I have yet to read past the introduction.

Once again I will have to make one of those decisions that will probably change the rest of my life. It’s not a decision that I will have to rush, plenty of time before I will have to find an answer, but I’ve always found it better to plan ahead.

After finishing school, all hope was lost. The grades I received mocked my abilities and future Job prospects. Years after school I was starting to believe I would be darting between dead-end jobs for the rest of my life. But all that changed when I found out I was entitled to become a ‘mature student’! Last month I applied at University to do a degree in Computer Science or Digital Media Development. Both of them share the same first year, but after that I will have to decide where I want my studies to go and thus my new career path (Hopefully something better than pulling pints for drunken yobs and miserable assclowns!). With computer studies I would be learning mainly about hardware and coding, Media Development would go into Web Dev and CGI. At the moment I have no idea which path I shall choose. I suppose I will just have to leave it a while for time to decide for me.

On another note/rant. I think that the age that we are expected to sit exams that will change most of our lives is far too low. When I sat my exams I couldn’t really give a shit, I didn’t revise or listen in class because I lacked emotional maturity. Many people I have spoke to have said that if they did school a couple of years later they would have done a hell of a lot better in exams. What do you people think?

I don’t know what it is, but I enjoy going for a nice long walk.

In the last 6 days I’ve been for 6 long walks, all lasting between 45 mins to 2 hours. For some reason there is nothing I currently find more relaxing than to put on the ipod, and go for a long stroll. I’m sure its something to do with clearing the mind or some shit, but I find it useful for ordering my thoughts and getting my shit together, or thinking about things that need to be.. thinked.. about.

I normally walk through the city as its literally just up the road from me, and thanks to all that cash an awful lot of money is spent on the buildings. That means pretty things to look at, which as a (wannabe) level designer is quite useful. I want to get a small little digital camera soon that is decent quality so I can snap some reference pics. I think they’d be quite nice. Yep.

Given what I expect to be many advances in medical science in the next few years, I think a life expectancy of 90 is not unreasonable. I turned 23 a few hours ago. Given the previous expected life expectancy I mentioned, that puts me at roughly the quarter way mark. 1/4th of my life gone.

1/4th.

And what have I achieved in my 23 years and 3.3 hours of my life? Quite frankly, a depressingly small amount. I mean sure, I’ve done things, I’ve created stuff, but is any of that enough to justify the 23 and (checks watch) 3.4 hours of my life?

I don’t know.

I’ve still got lots I want to do, many many ambitions I’ve yet to fulfil, yet somehow they seem to get pushed to the side while I do things that I need to get out of the way before I can go about fulfilling those ambitions. Is it just me that has so much trouble achieving what I want to achieve? Is there some special trick to the whole “life” thing someone forgot to tell me? What’s the secret?

23 years and 3.5 hours down. Do I have enough time left?

Ack. 4 months is a rather long time to not post anything, and as I am sure you will all agree, something I should be quite ashamed of. I’ve been a busy little bunny doing various things that all conspire to take me one way or another away from what I love best (The internet, and level design).

Real work, mostly. I spend 4 days a week now at my “day” job, although I got a promotion in early September, the days working there are a severe dent to mental my capacities (such as they are). After coming back from a day of working there I can just about manage to sit in a computer chair for 6 hours and vegetate before sleeping. Joy.

I’m also back in full Open University swing, entering the third of what looks like it will be a 6 year (6!!) course. More joy.

All this isn’t to say I haven’t done things I’m happy about. I’ve actually been running with a few friends of mine a website design/hosting company that although isn’t time consuming in the strictest sense, those hours spent working on client websites are a draw on my precious time.

I’ve also managed to find my love of level design, buried way deep down, and dusted the old girl off. I worked on one map already and finished it off as much as I felt I could before pretty much discarding it (It was a good idea, and I may revisit it, but I’ve been out of practice for so long the first few maps will probably never see the light of day). I’m working on a second map which if things carry on the way they are at the moment I wont get to work on for another 6 weeks or so. Yet more joy.

Last but not least, Wavelength. Ooohhh Wavelength how I have spurned thee. It’s become quite popular over the last few months and weeks drawing in several new forum members a day and receiving quite a few page views more than the previous months which is all just fantastic but I’ve got so many plans to improve the backend, to improve the front end, to improve ALL of it, not to mention writing content for it! And I just Have. No. Time. Damn it.

There are other changes in my personal life too. Big, massive changes. But that’s still a work in progress so I’d like to save it for another post, and I promise I’ll try and make sure that’s not in 4 months time. Probably.

I had the most fantastic drive tonight. My recent fascination with motorcycles has made me appreciate the bond between man and machine. It’s my car’s lack of features that makes me both hate and love it. I feel closer to the road in my ’88 Hyundai Excel then any fancy German car.

On the ride home from work today I magically hit all the green lights and rode in gaps in the traffic. I felt in-touch with the road as I never had before. Nothing mattered to me but the ride itself. Turning and shifting was an after-thought yet they were artfully, and flawlessly performed.

I can’t wait until I can ride a motorcycle, and perhaps own one.

My friend, who will be reffered to as “Josie”to protect her identity, had a msn name with something like “I wish I were an Olsen Twin” and had an olsen twin as her avatar. I wanted to find out what it was all about.

Benoit: the olsen twins are hideous
Josie: nothey r not
Josie: they r ggorgeous
Benoit: dear lord
Benoit: your perception of beauty deteriorates every year
Josie: no it does not
Josie: they r gorgeous
Josie: whats not pretty avout them?
Benoit: first paris hilton
Benoit: now this
Benoit: they are ghostly skinny and have a face like a russian maid
Josie: no way
Josie: they r sooopretty
Josie: how canu deny it?
Benoit: I can and I do

Josie sends me a picture of both of the girls looking sickly as usual.

Benoit: come on
Benoit: that’s disgusting
Josie: they r gorgeous
Josie: i wud kill to look like them

Josie sends me another picture of one of the twins.

Benoit: what are you, anorexic?
Benoit: I have to delete them from my computer so no one finds it and thinks I am a weirdo
Josie: whatever
Josie: they r sooo pretty
Josie: they r tiny not anorexic
Josie: they ar eleik 5 feet tall
Josie: of course they r little
Josie: and i love how skinny they are skinny is beautiful
Benoit: one of them confessed to be anorexic and they still look just as skinny, they could both use a good 20 pounds
Josie: no way
Josie: they are 5 ft tall
Josie: if the gain weight it will reallyshow
Josie: i love the way they are
Benoit: fine, then they need to gain however much it they need to gain to not look like halloween decorations
Josie: they r soo pretty
Josie: how can u say that?
Josie: grrr
Josie: soo pretty
Benoit: how can I say that? how can you idolize them for being terrible role models and driving girls to starve themselves to reach an unattainable goal?
Josie: its not unattainable
Josie: i think being fat is unhealthy
Benoit: your definition of fat is skewed
Josie: there shud be someone telling ppl to lose weight
Josie: cause fat is unhealthy
Josie: i think i could stand to lose a few pounds
Josie: so what?
Benoit: what is considered perfectly healthy is considered fat by you
Josie: thats right
Josie: i think most girls r fat
Benoit: so why did you just say that fat is unhealthy?
Josie: i just like skinny its what is sppealing to me
Josie: it IS unhealthy
Benoit: to a point
Benoit: if you’re obese yes
Benoit: but girls who are PERFECTLY HEALTHY would be considered fat in your mind
Benoit: it’s you who has something wrong, not the people you think are not skinny enough
Benoit: If you 5’9” the ideal weight is 150 pounds

Josie is about 5’9” or 5’10”.

Josie: i weight 130
Josie: and i still feel too big
Josie: cause i am
Josie: i cud be 120 and id be happy
Benoit: 110 if you’re 5’0 it’s 115. The olsen twins look like they are 130 combined
Josie: whateverrrrr
Benoit: the conversation I am having with you is the kinda shit you hear people with eating disorders say
Josie: yeah but i eat
Benoit: yes, thankfully
Josie: i just think skinny is beautiful
Josie: sorry
Josie: it looks better
Josie: i dont liek to see chubby asses and butts ands thigs
Josie: sorry but thats not beautiful in my mind
Josie: i hate flub on tummies i like flat stomachs
Josie: i cants help it
Benoit: and some don’t like to see bones
Josie: imnot saying u have to be bony
Josie: theres tons of women that are skinny but not bony and they look great
Benoit: ok, but the olsen twins could gain 10 pounds and they would still be skinny
Josie: yeas
Josie: but they dont have to gain 10 pounds
Josie: they look fien the way they are

I am in love. My hobbies, including posting on menkeys, have taken a back seat to my heart.

Jamal, a young, hip, urban, black male is stuck in an awkward situation: living with rich white people! Comedy ensues as Jamal shows the snobby white people how to get “jiggy” with it and relax.

Coming this holiday season. And every other date of note for years to come.