Once again I will have to make one of those decisions that will probably change the rest of my life. It’s not a decision that I will have to rush, plenty of time before I will have to find an answer, but I’ve always found it better to plan ahead.

After finishing school, all hope was lost. The grades I received mocked my abilities and future Job prospects. Years after school I was starting to believe I would be darting between dead-end jobs for the rest of my life. But all that changed when I found out I was entitled to become a ‘mature student’! Last month I applied at University to do a degree in Computer Science or Digital Media Development. Both of them share the same first year, but after that I will have to decide where I want my studies to go and thus my new career path (Hopefully something better than pulling pints for drunken yobs and miserable assclowns!). With computer studies I would be learning mainly about hardware and coding, Media Development would go into Web Dev and CGI. At the moment I have no idea which path I shall choose. I suppose I will just have to leave it a while for time to decide for me.

On another note/rant. I think that the age that we are expected to sit exams that will change most of our lives is far too low. When I sat my exams I couldn’t really give a shit, I didn’t revise or listen in class because I lacked emotional maturity. Many people I have spoke to have said that if they did school a couple of years later they would have done a hell of a lot better in exams. What do you people think?

I don’t know what it is, but I enjoy going for a nice long walk.

In the last 6 days I’ve been for 6 long walks, all lasting between 45 mins to 2 hours. For some reason there is nothing I currently find more relaxing than to put on the ipod, and go for a long stroll. I’m sure its something to do with clearing the mind or some shit, but I find it useful for ordering my thoughts and getting my shit together, or thinking about things that need to be.. thinked.. about.

I normally walk through the city as its literally just up the road from me, and thanks to all that cash an awful lot of money is spent on the buildings. That means pretty things to look at, which as a (wannabe) level designer is quite useful. I want to get a small little digital camera soon that is decent quality so I can snap some reference pics. I think they’d be quite nice. Yep.

Given what I expect to be many advances in medical science in the next few years, I think a life expectancy of 90 is not unreasonable. I turned 23 a few hours ago. Given the previous expected life expectancy I mentioned, that puts me at roughly the quarter way mark. 1/4th of my life gone.

1/4th.

And what have I achieved in my 23 years and 3.3 hours of my life? Quite frankly, a depressingly small amount. I mean sure, I’ve done things, I’ve created stuff, but is any of that enough to justify the 23 and (checks watch) 3.4 hours of my life?

I don’t know.

I’ve still got lots I want to do, many many ambitions I’ve yet to fulfil, yet somehow they seem to get pushed to the side while I do things that I need to get out of the way before I can go about fulfilling those ambitions. Is it just me that has so much trouble achieving what I want to achieve? Is there some special trick to the whole “life” thing someone forgot to tell me? What’s the secret?

23 years and 3.5 hours down. Do I have enough time left?